dord (dôrd), n. density of mind; chiefly exhibited by one who attempts to demonstrate supposed knowledge --adj. dord'ish


Heart Indicators

Well, I decided to finish this post; it's been marked draft for a couple months.

Situation: Something just happened that really bothered me.
Time: Any time.
My Reaction: I bite my tongue (or try some other innocuous response).

Why is it that when I'm frustrated, the first words that come to mind are ones which I've never said (and pray I'll never say)? Why don't any other words or phrases, ones which I've said many other times, leap to the forefront of my mind?

For some time, I was perplexed by this question. Something would happen (say, for instance that I dropped something I was carrying), and my responses would come in something like the following order:
1. I'd nearly swear
2. I'd stop myself and breathe some other word of frustration
3. Realizing what I'd almost said, I'd think "Why, Lord? How did I almost say that? I'd never use words like that!"

Once again, Scripture speaks to the issue: "The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks" (Luke 6:45). Contrary to what I'd like to think, it's not that my mouth nearly makes an inaccurate reflection on my righteous self; it's that my mouth nearly makes an accurate reflection on my sinful and self-righteous self. Next time this happens, I don't want to merely pray "Lord, help me to guard my mouth," but also "Lord, change my heart."

I'd be curious to learn whether anyone else has the same struggle, and if so, what they've learned through it. Thoughts anyone?

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Blogger Laedelas Greenleaf said...

Yes, I struggle with this too. Several times a day I think words that, if I were to speak them, would alienate many of my friends. I was getting really frustrated with that, mostly because I didn't want to actually say the words, so I tried using substitute words. Then I realized what you did, that the words are just a reflection of what I'm feeling and it's the heart that needs to change. I'm still bad at this, but I've found the best way for me to deal with a situation is either do nothing or do something logical. Swearing is not logical.

I try to guard my heart against this, too. I inadvertently hear TONS of junk at college, but I'm not going to sit through a movie with words like that! I probably won't ever enjoy watching X-men III again because of the language there (among other things), even though some would consider it to be minimal.

I'm glad I can read your blog now :-) I'm looking forward to many, many late nights blog-surfing... :-P

6/28/2006 1:36 PM

Blogger Bubs said...

Dude, I've been starting to say stuff that I don't really want to say when stuff happens.

The cool thing now is that even when I have an "ok" word reaction, I've been realizing that my heart has a problem.

8/02/2006 10:52 PM


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