It has long been an observance of mine that a particular word—popularized and almost exclusively employed by the female gender—often fails to convey specific significance. The breadth of application of this word, combined with the ambiguity of its implications, easily results in confusion and bewilderment, particularly for the male population, who are typically as inclined to its usage as they are to spend their summer afternoons sipping tee on a veranda.
Possessing the distinct blessing (and advantage) of having five sisters, I feel it is my duty and obligation to my brotherhood to assist in unraveling this great mystery of the feminine vocabulary. In order to both ensure accuracy and assuage the fears of misrepresentation that are even now weighing upon the minds and hearts of females around the world, I have asked my sisters and mother to elucidate.
My unassailably scientific methodology consisted of gathering the expert forum (my aforementioned mother and sisters), providing them with categories (produced from years of my personal observations), and typing away as they provided generous content.
While I realize the slight possibility that some areas of the female perspective may not be represented among the ladies of my own family, I count the effort worthwhile—I would venture to guess that most men only understand two or three of the following usages. (I will leave any girls reading this guessing as to which those are.)
Cute
adjective1. Babies—Monica: “Elizabeth H-------.”
Natalie “Small things are cute.”
Monica: “No, miniature things are cute; they’re like a miniature person.”
Audre: “No, miniature people aren’t cute. Think of Gulliver’s Travels.”
Monica: “Babies and kids are so cute when you see them and you just want to hold them. They have cute feet, cute hands—everything about them is cute.”
Monica: “Also, because they’re so vulnerable; they depend on you for everything.”
Syn: Precious, Adorable
2. Kids— Monica: “When kids say things that are smarter than you think they would know–”
Mom: “Precocious.”
Natalie “Or they say things that everyone is thinking but won’t say–”
Monica: “Although that can be embarrassing.”
DeAnna: “It’s really cute when little boys are wearing a suit and tie and look like a little man.”
Monica: “A little cute man.”
DeAnna: “Also a cute thing about kids is that they can be gullible. They’re so trusting.”
Syn: Precocious
3. Other Girls— Monica: “Usually their appearance and mannerisms—clothes, hairdo, jewelry, makeup.”
DeAnna: “Girls can have a cute face, too. There’s different grades: cute, pretty—a girl can be both cute and pretty—and then there’s beautiful and gorgeous.”
Audre: “They don’t necessarily seem girly-girl, as in nail polish, but fresh off the farm.”
Monica: “Innocent and...”
Audre: “Maidenly.”
Mom: “Untainted.”
Syn: Fresh, Youthful
4. Guys— [silence]
ME: “What, none of you want quoted on this?”
[silence]
Julia: “They’ve gotta be kind of... good looking.”
DeAnna: “Smiles can be cute, like if they’re a little crooked.”
Monica: “Yeah, and hair—like if it’s ruffled up.”
Julia: “But some boys try to do that on purpose and it’s not cute.”
DeAnna: “Yeah, you can’t try to be cute. You have to be cute without knowing you’re cute.”
Mom: “Intentional quirkiness is definitely uncute. What’s cute is a natural quirk that adorns a noble character.” [all the girls concur]
Syn: Boyish charm
5. Couples— Monica: “When they go so well together it’s like they complement each other.”
DeAnna: “It’s not just that it’s a cute guy plus a cute girl; it’s that they’re cute together.”
Mom: “When they’re funny in the ways they annoy each other.”
Monica: “When they’re concerned for each other. And when they’re so excited to be together.”
Mom: “When they’ve got a warm and tender expression to their love—especially for older couples.”
Syn: Complementary, Tender love
6. Mannerisms— Mom: “Natural quirks—”
DeAnna: “That you’ve come to like because you’ve come to like the person who has them.”
Julia: “Something that is funny but unexpected.”
Mom: “Humorous idiosyncracies that so nearly match their personality that it tickles me.”
Syn: Unique
7. Clothing— Mom: “A lot of times I’ll think ‘that’s so cute’ when somebody can put together an outfit that totally complements them.”
Mom: “A fresh idea on what can go together.”
Monica: “Some clothes are pretty, but they’re not cute.”
Mom: “Pretty clothes reflect class and taste, but cute clothes connote youthfulness.”
Monica: “It’s the complete outfit that’s cute.”
DeAnna: “Or a cute idea to do something a certain way.”
DeAnna: “I don’t think I’ve ever seen a guy wear cute clothes... which is a good thing.”
Syn: Youthful, Complementary
8. Decor— Mom: “Putting things together that is a fresh idea. You wouldn’t have thought of it together before, but it creates a satisfying impression. It might not seem to be compatible at first, but when you see them together it’s like, ‘Oh, that works.’”
DeAnna: “A homey feeling, too, because it doesn’t feel like you can’t touch it.”
Monica: “Miniature—teacups, dollhouses...”
DeAnna: “Things that would normally be overlooked, but are emphasized. Everyone notices roses, but it’s cute when someone paints forget-me-nots on a teacup.”
Syn: Fresh, Original
9. Animals— Julia: “Baby animals.”
Natalie “Except for mice.”
Monica: “Innocent, precious...”
Natalie “Helpless.”
Monica: “Usually they’re furry. And usually they have such cute eyes.”
[chorus: “yeah”]
Monica: “Baby animals are so cute because they need nurtured and cared for, and they’re dependent.”
Syn: Cuddly, Vulnerable
10. Cars & Houses— Mom: “They remind you of a toy.”
DeAnna: “Again, the small aspect.”
Monica: “Usually cute cars are expensive.”
Mom: “Customized with little quirks.”
DeAnna: “Cottages are cute. Cabins aren’t cute; they’re rustic.”
Mom: “Something you never would have thought of.”
Audre: “On the smaller side.”
Syn: Personalized, Charming, Enchanting
MAJOR DISCLAIMERSDeAnna: “And there are some times we say cute when we really don’t mean it. At the moment we lack a better word.”
[Personal Note: Now everything makes sense]
DeAnna: “Also, just because things aren’t cute doesn’t mean we don’t like them.”
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