Officially a Graduate

My diploma just came in the mail. I always hated it when people talked about going through school just to get a piece of paper. Thankfully, the last five years were about much more than a little paper diploma. Here are some highlights... five years, five lists.

5 Things I Survived Undergrad Without (as in zero... yes, it is possible)
All-nighters
Facebook
Coffee
Student Loans
Wireless Internet on my laptop

4 Reasons God Kept Me Home for Undergrad (always easier to see in hindsight)
I learned a lot by being more involved in my local church after high school
Eighteen years was not enough time to appreciate the blessings of family
After all those years of praying for a brother, it was too early to leave
Commuting saves loads of money... and keeps home-cookin'

3 Courses I Didn't Think I'd Survive (each of which ended up becoming a favorite)
Intro to Ordinary Differential Equations
Spanish Composition
Thermodynamics

2 Spiritual Lessons I Learned (among many)
Apart from the grace of God, I can do nothing
Learning a lesson once does not mean that I will not need to learn it again

1 Truth That Makes Me Want to Laugh And Cry (and just thank God)
"Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand." (Proverbs 19:21)

Cross Road

I’m at a crossroad – a big one. I could choose option A or B or C. Quite literally I could turn north or south – or neither.

Life seems to be a series of crossroads. The options now before me have come partly as a result of past choices. The choice I make now will affect future options – when still more choices will still have to be made. Each road at a crossroad leads to another crossroad. The number of branches becomes dizzying.

What will I choose? Where will it take me? Where will I end up?

I want answers. This is important stuff here – it’s my life.

Is it?

“For through the law I died to the law, so that I might live to God. I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” (Gal. 2:19-20)

That changes my perspective. My life is not my own. But…

What will I choose? Where will it take me? Where will I end up?

I want answers. I want to see.

The answer doesn’t come as I wanted it to. I don’t see further down each branch of the road. Instead, I see the road itself with new eyes: I’m not at a crossroad; I’m on the cross road.

What will I choose? “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” (Luke 9:23)

Where will it take me? “Whoever loses his life for my sake will save it.” (Luke 9:24)

Where will I end up? “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God.” (Rev. 21:3)

I want to see. “They shall see his face.” (Rev. 22:4)

There and Back Again

In the last 18 days, I...

...was out of town or traveling for all but 6
(and tried to stay on top of school at the same time)
...flew for the first time
(and I'm not joking)
...missed a connecting flight for the first time
(but was put on another one and made it to my hotel room by 1am)
...walked 40 minutes to church because I decided against taking a taxi
(but got a return ride from a great guy I met after the service)
...walked a mile to find ground transportation
(but used the underground shuttle the next time)
...experienced heavy turbulence for the first time
(and found that it's like jolting around on on old roller coaster)
...drove a full tank of gas without stopping for the first time
(and made it 420 miles, from the local gas station to the one at my destination)
...set personal records for travel to the north and the west
(and came close to a personal record for travel to the south)

...concluded that, wherever I live on this earth, Akron will always be home
(no buts or ands)

¿Se Habla Español?

So I received a piece of paper in the mail notifying me that I have indeed fulfilled all of the requirements for the Spanish minor I applied for. Good thing. At three years removed from my last Spanish class, I'm not about to sign up for a 400-level course on advanced composition.

Senior

I'm at another crossroads in life. When I was a senior in high school I somehow thought that if I could just decide on what to study (and where), life would unfold from there.

I'm a senior again. I feel like I'm a senior in high school again--minus the idea that future decisions will be obvious if I can only get this one right. What will I do next? The past four years of my life were more-or-less mapped out... freshman classes... sophomore classes... junior classes... senior classes. Oh, and mix in a couple of co-op job decisions that helped blow my life-choices-will-become-obvious theory out of the water. But, bottom line: four years ago I could've anticipating being where am now, doing what I'm doing now.

Twelve months from now... only God knows. Maybe I'll be working full-time. Maybe I'll be a full-time graduate student here at UA. Maybe I'll be a graduate student out of state. Maybe... maybe...

This is an interesting place to be. Surely, none of us knows for sure where we'll be in a year, a week, a day, an hour. God holds the future in His hands.

Yet while we can't guarantee tomorrow, much of life has an element of, "Unless something unexpected happens..." Right now, though, I don't have an expected. Interesting. Very Interesting.

It's exciting too--a good opportunity to learn functional theology: God's sovereignty and man's responsibility. I trust in the wisdom of God, not my own. At the same time, I'm doing job interviews, working on graduate school applications*, and talking with older and wiser people who have faced similar decisions in their own lives.

So where am I? Where will I be?

I think and wonder about where I'll be a year from now.

I think with wonder about where I'll be a thousand years from now.

* [An aside: is there anyone who can honestly say that they enjoy--or even don't mind--the application process? I told myself that I wouldn't let this drag out or hang over my head as my undergraduate applications did. Not easy. Complicating matters, the process for each application needs explained... but then parts get overexplained. (So I send my letters of recommendation to... ?)]